I found my way back to myself.
Now I Help Other Women Do The Same.
The tale of my unexpected journey through divorce, anxiety, and the inner work that changed everything.
There was a time in my life when I felt like I was carrying the world on my shoulders. No matter how much I did, it still wasn’t enough. I got married at 26, moved to a new state, started working, and had three beautiful daughters in quick succession. Life was unfolding just as I had planned.
By my 33rd birthday, however, I found myself facing one of the most challenging transitions of my life: I was watching my marriage fall apart.
My work as a Mindfulness and Somatic-Based Wellness Coach didn’t start in a classroom—it began when I was in my early thirties, as I faced life as a newly-divorced single parent. Navigating my new reality left me plagued with anxiety and fear about what was next for my daughters and me.
How would I support us? How would I raise my girls in the ways I had always dreamed? And how on earth was I going to move through this frightening transition?
I found myself filled with shame over the failure of my marriage. And as I pushed through the exhaustion and struggle, I convinced myself that I was alone in that dark place. In an effort to regain control of my life and move forward, perfectionism, overdoing, and people-pleasing began to dominate it. I filled my days with work, endless to-do lists, and caretaking responsibilities that kept me in a relentless spiral of overwhelm.
I love my daughters endlessly and take my role as their mother to heart. Caring for my children gave me a deep sense of purpose. I also felt miserable, stuck, and utterly confused about how to move forward in my personal life. I believed that if I just tried harder, I would figure things out—heal from a broken marriage, be the ideal mom, a thriving breadwinner, and find the life I yearned for, but the harder I tried and the more I pushed, the further I fell into a state of struggle.
During that time, I did everything I was “supposed” to do— I read self-help books, took supplements to combat my exhaustion, tried sleeping more, tried sleeping less. My anxiety bumped alongside me like a shadow from the minute I woke up until I finally fell asleep at night. I realized that what I was doing wasn’t enough, so I turned to exercise. I ran (a lot) and experienced temporary relief, but the pace wasn’t sustainable, and the relief wasn’t lasting. I was running out of options.
It was at that point that I decided to invest in therapy, which helped me start to put out the fire and gain clarity about how I arrived at my present situation. This was the first step in the right direction, but I still wasn’t making the progress I had hoped.
Then, with the help of my therapist, I came across a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course that opened up the door to the next chapter of my life.
My new mindfulness practice led me to a breakthrough. I learned to slow down, became more self-aware, and began to accept myself and my life exactly as it was. It was a slow and arduous process, but I began to ask for help, became more aware of the need for self-care, and became more present with my daughters and myself.
Balance and happiness became more accessible, but this was not the whole story, as I continued to battle with thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that made it difficult to prioritize myself and move from a place of struggle into a more easeful and fulfilling existence.
With more self-awareness, I finally realized the source of my struggle:
I was raised in the 70s and 80s, when girls were quietly conditioned to work hard, be productive, and put others’ needs first—all while striving to meet narrow ideals of beauty and success. Some of you may remember the “I’m a Woman” Enjoli perfume commercial, with its message that the modern woman should be able to “do it all.”
Without realizing it, I had absorbed that belief. And for a long time, I struggled to reconcile those expectations with something deeper in me—the part that longed to slow down, to honor my own needs, and to be true to myself.
It was soon after this realization that I discovered parts work and found an Internal Family Systems coach who also practiced mindfulness. With the help of my coach, I continued to unravel a quagmire of beliefs, expectations, and behaviors that no longer served me and kept me stuck.
Here is what I’ve learned:
When we suppress or avoid painful feelings, they often impact both our emotional and physical well-being. By turning toward these parts with curiosity and compassion, we begin to understand ourselves more deeply—and offer ourselves the grace we’ve been needing in order to heal.
Through parts work, we can see that roles like the People Pleaser and the Perfectionist are not flaws, but protectors—parts of us that are trying to keep us safe. And even the parts that carry fear, confusion, and overwhelm, while powerful, do not define who we are.
I have also learned that our bodies hold incredible wisdom and guidance if we are present enough to listen. And it is our presence that helps us let go of the past and release fear so we can step into the future fully and enthusiastically.
Finally, from a place of presence, we gain access to our Core-Self– that calm, steady place within us where we find the answers we’re seeking, the care our parts need, and a path forward.
“I believe that we are multidimensional beings with many thoughts, emotions, and ways of experiencing life. In my experience, feeling stuck happens when one part of you wants to move forward, but another part of you is afraid of what you stand to lose (even if you stand to gain so much more).”
I have come to understand that we are all inherently capable and deeply resourceful, and we have within us the clarity, strength, and wisdom we need to navigate life successfully and thrive. From this perspective, I believe pivotal life changes are opportunities.
Whether planned or unexpected, painful or exciting, these transitions call us to expand our capacity to love and live more fully, offering rich opportunities to learn, grow, and move toward a higher level of purpose. I feel honored to walk this path with courageous women who have accepted this invitation.
Today, I live in Portland, Maine– a city I adore– with my husband and our two dogs, Rosie and Rita. My daughters are grown and thriving, and it is such a thrill to watch them as they shine their light into the world. I take time every day for activities like creating art, practicing mindfulness, and spending time in the woods because they help me stay present and grounded, and allow me to do the work I love.
I am a thinker and a lifelong student of the natural world. For me, the woods remind me to slow down, breathe, and listen– to nature, to myself, and to the deeper layers of life. My work with women navigating big life transitions is rooted in that same sense of presence, reflection, and connection. Serving my clients and witnessing their learning and growth brings me such joy.
I also love to write, and I hope my Substack can become a safe space for exploration, support, and validation. I am passionate about personal growth— the potential we all have to shine and the parts of us that block our light.